live well. laugh often. LOVE much.

okay, wow. i haven't felt like this with any of my other applications. it must be the fact that i have 3 all due on the same day. why did i wait till the last minute? why? WHY? well, i know why, but uggghhhhh, i want to run out of this room screaming and ripping out my hair. to be honest, i am much better. i took a break from it for a few minutes to go outside, have a cigar (from the pimp and ho party... lucky i had it as an emergency stash), and just try to gain some perspective. much better. i thought i was gonna hurt someone. i don't know why our computer decides to move at turtle speed when i'm trying to do an application. the good thing is, i talked to my good pal, kate, today and she said she did the same thing with her applications. she said it was just too hard to try to work on them knowing you had alot of time. really, it is. my plan was to work on my applications this weekend, but then i decided instead of friday, i had all day saturday... and instead of saturday, i had all day sunday... and instead of sunday, i decided i could do them sunday night... and here i am, monday night and am flipping out because the application for university of texas is longer than dirk diggler's manliness. FUCK. then i still have 2 more to go. the benefit is that one of my applications actually states that it just has to be postmarked on the 15th. (being universities, you think they would specify neat little information like that, but noooo... it's funner to keep us guessing.) anyway, you can guess that i will be submitting that bad boy on the 14th, you can bet that. and here's the best part: i made dinner for andy, kyle and sean... and while i'm in the room hating everyone and their mother, they are out there watching "dumb and dumber-er" laughing their happy little asses off. ooooohh..... oooh, it is SO FUNNY. BITTER! i keep trying to see the light at the end of my tunnel being the spa gift certificate kyle gave me as my reward once i've submitted ALL of my applications. yes, getting accepted to graduate school is its own reward... but i'm thinking SHORT TERM here. cut me some slack, for christ's sake.