live well. laugh often. LOVE much.

we're supposed to be going to vegas this friday. i've been dying to go and it will be nice to vacay with the fam.

today has been a tough day at work. and my head hurts.

i forget that one black man's name that got beat up by the LAPD. anyway, to quote him, but not really:

"why can't we all just be a little less psycho?"

i'm working today. it's not too bad. i woke up with a blazing migraine, but i took my migraine medication and it has downgraded to a lull of a migraine, so that's good. hopefully, today will go by quickly and i can get home... strangely enough, i want to clean my house.

so i did it - i cut my hair. i cut off about four and a half inches, give or take. it's really hard to tell because she cut my hair about 3 different times. first she took off an inch or two before she colored my hair, then took off a few more inches, then when i thought it wasn't short enough, she cut off a little more. when it's dry it falls just under my shoulders. i haven't had this short of hair in a long time...it's amazing how much it quickens washing and drying my hair. i'm not sure how i like it... it's more manageable and definitely looks healthy, but i think it makes me look young. like i'm 12. but i've been told otherwise. oh well.

my last thought is, why don't my pants all button/clasp in the same direction? when i used to wear men's jeans in high school, i was always under the impression that women's shirts and pants all universally closed in a certain direction, and men's clothing closed in the opposite direction. but it is not so. my pants do both directions and it's retardo. this leaves a lot of room for error, at least in the zipping up the pants department.

damn dude, i'm testing on monday and tuesday and i tested today and yesterday. why doesn't someone just pull my eyeballs out of my head right now and get it over with?

{{{{sigh}}}} i wish i were at the arizona state fair with andy and my in-laws right now.... (doesn't the use of "in-laws" just crack you up??!!)

so i've been at work for 3 hours already. and i have spent a majority of that time doing random things while pretending and looking like i'm working. i truly have nothing to do here. i'm plum out of things to do, but i'm forced to sit here and breathe the air here and use the electricity here, when i could be doing far better things. really, nobody is forcing me, but that's just the way it's gonna work. that's the super-duperness of having a job, well at least, my job.

thanks for playing my game, crissy. at least you'll entertain me.

so, i'm pretty sure that creating a myspace for myself is on the verge. yes, i have strategically planned it so that i'm doing it now when it is starting to die down. that's the fun of it all. not to get pulled into the hype until the hype is gone.

i have an appointment to get my haircut tomorrow. i just realized neneng, crissy, and cit all have their hair short and around the same lengths. crissy's is probably the shortest. i'm most definitely not going short. i want a few inches off, but i'm not ready for short hair again. it's too much work for me. and the least amount of things i can do between the time of waking up and walking out the door to go to work, the better. it's called laziness, i know.

maybe i can get a job designing pajamas... but i guess really, how many different ways could you design pajamas?

now that was funny. i thought i would go ahead and blog a real blog now. thank you again, crissy and matt, for your hospitality and delicious dinner. there was good company, great laughs, and a nice time. and hurley is way super fun, too. thank you again for having all of us over. we should do it again... maybe we can do our house sometime.

anyway, i was going to blog but then i started watching "family plots" and it is now getting late. this week is going to suck, especially the fact that i have to work this saturday and on top of that, andy is going to arizona and will be at the arizona state fair the day i'm testing. sucky.

so anyway, go check this out. i think it's neat, but make up your own mind:Life Gem

Thirteen random things you like:
13. sending people postcards while i'm away
12. picture frames
11. buying every lip balm/chapstick/lip gloss i see
10. the smell of my dogs' feet (fowl, right???)
9. wearing andrew's t-shirts
8. reading all day until it's dark and not realizing i've been reading for 8 hours straight
7. the tater tots from williams AFB cafeteria
6. ginger ale
5. the movie "coyote ugly"
4. clocks
3. chris rock's 'bigger and blacker' stand up routine
2. my dyson vaccuum
1. washing my hands

Twelve movies you can watch over and over:
12. 50 first dates
11. my best friend's wedding
10. steel magnolias
9. the joy luck club
8. lord of the rings: fellowship of the ring
7. riding in cars with boys
6. big daddy
5. pretty woman
4. pretty in pink
3. clueless
2. the princess bride
1. breakfast club

Eleven bands/artists that rock:
11. gwen stefani
10. janet jackson
9. prince
8. new edition
7. modest mouse
6. christina aguilera
5. snoop dogg
4. mariah carey
3. ll cool j
2. tupac
1. the beatles

Ten things about you ... physically:
10. long, unruly hair
9. large bongers (yes, i did just say that)
8. low maintenance face complexion
7. little ears
6. warm hands and feet (i have very good circulation)
5. teeth that have moved since the removal of my braces
4. vertically challenged
3. bad vision
2. an uncanny sense of smell
1. no makeup (unless i'm in the mood)

Nine things you wear daily:
9. a watch
8. panties
7. a bra
6. my "M" necklace
5. engagement ring
4. wedding band
3. a shirt of some sort
2. pants/shorts/skirt
1. my tattoos

Eight favorite foods/drinks:
8. my iced tea
7. lasagna
6. chocolate covered almonds
5. strawberry lemonade with strawberries in it
4. phil's bbq
3. lobster
2. loaded baked potatoes (sans bacon)
1. walnut shrimp

Seven good friends:
7. stacy
6. brooke
5. sofie
4. robin
3. jenny
2. kate
1. glenn

Six things that annoy you:
6. bad restaurant service
5. not having a mailbox that is right out of my front door
4. when andy doesn't answer his phone
3. phone calls while i'm sleeping (but really, how would anyone know?)
2. the difficulties i encounter when wearing button up shirts
1. being hungry

Five things you touch everyday:
5. a telephone
4. a computer
3. my dogs
2. andrew
1. my glasses/contacts

Four shows you watch:
4. Lost
3. Golden Girls
2. 90210 (amen for soapnet!)
1. Intervention

Three celebrities you have a crush on:
3. Jay Hernandez
2. Mark Wahlberg
1. Orlando....

Two things that make you cry:
2. Animal Cops on Animal Planet
1. Helplessness

One person you could spend the rest of your life with:
1. My fella

who knew that huwag had 2 syllables? hm, the things you learn. anyway, i've been busy and tired... busy and tired... and most of all tired and busy. our testing schedule at work has been kicked up a notch, mostly because the last couple of months have been slow testing-wise.

ate julie's mom is here from the phillippines. it has been eating mania. and tonight more eating mania. it's been good fun even though we've been getting home so late and i've had to get up early to test.

so my new love is trail mix. but not just any old trail mix... the special kind that i get to mix myself. i buy bags of goodies from the bins at Henry's Market, and i mix it myself. i bought some yesterday and my jaw hurts from chewing my wonderful concoction. sometimes i overdo things a little too much.

oh, my other new love: finding people from way back when on the internet. i've found some pretty interesting folks.

so, i've noticed something. whenever i'm going through any kind of internal turmoil, my blogs often seem to miss a little of the good old fashioned, witty repartee that i usually like to write about. and in turn, i feel like i'm leaving my readers with poo and junkety junk to read.

i have this really weird thing where if i'm having a problem, and it feels pretty major, i don't like to talk about it out loud. sometimes, not even to andy. of course, i talk to him about it eventually, but i like to work things out on my own. try to figure things out in my own head before i bring them to the table with other people. i think sometimes it seems that i'm distancing myself from people, or i'm pulling away, but that's just the wonderfulness that is me. i can't always talk about things ad nauseam - it almost never really helps me. especially when it's a problem of mine all alone. maybe i hate hearing other people's opinions, as if it's going to affect my thought processes more than i want... who knows, but i thought i'd just explain why my blogs have been lacking that little sumthin' sumthin' lately.

i've been feeling very (for lack of a better term) uneasy with what i'm going to do about my career path. i don't think i've talked about it yet, but i have decided not to apply to graduate schools this year. and on top of that, i don't know what that means as far as ever applying again. i just feel really up in the air with all of it. and as an adult that is shortly going to turn 30-years-old (oh, no i diiien't), it is certainly not the best feeling. especially when i've always felt so driven and ambitious. also, knowing other people expect this from me, as well, keeps this weird "pressure" on all of it. or maybe it is self-inflicted pressure, actually.

i guess i've learned that not everyone gets this clear path of "this is what your life is supposed to be." i don't regret any of the decisions i've made. i made the best decisions i could with the knowledge i had. i truly believe this is how it should happen and maybe my path is hidden somewhere, i just need to find it and make it clear for myself.

i'm good enough. i'm smart enough. and gosh darnit, people like me. happy monday! :)

andy did the best thing and got me a digital box for the tv in my office. it's supery fantastic.

we had a date last night and it was splendid. i had been dying for chicken lettuce wraps from PF Changs, so i made reservations and we had dinner there. it was delicious as always. then we watched Elizabethtown in mira mesa. that orlando bloom, dude.... there were multiple points in the movie that he looked just delectable. i could just eat him up with a spoon.

andy is working tomorrow because he is covering for another supervisor. i'm not sure why he is still awake because he should be going to bed soon. i think i'm gonna try to convince him to go to sleep now.... actually, it's just cause i'm tired.

i think i have a virus on my computer.

guess what? i'm making my award winning chili for dinner tomorrow night.

WHO'S IN?????

speak now, or forever hold your peace because if nobody says they are coming... we could run out.

so, i've pretty much decided to go ahead and toot my own horn and say that i'm a pretty good cook.... TOOT TOOT.

my new project.... learning how to make my own flour tortillas - in all of their warm, wonderful gooeyness..... i'm holding out hope that i can do it. if i CAN do it, i may have to make a cookbook of all my goodies to share with the world.

one more thing: i can share this now that toto has told our mom... toto has a job as an EXECUTIVE CHEF. maybe ya'll don't really know what that means (at least maybe not in the world of culinary arts), but toto finally has his own kitchen. he's running the show and will get to make his own menu. i'm probably going to equate it to winning the MTV Music Awards... it's not the Grammy's, but he is finally being recognized. visit toto's new place of business. :)

it took me a while to fall asleep last night. that's very unusual for me. i typically lay my head down and i'm out in less than 5 minutes. but last night took me almost 40 minutes. strange, strange.

anyway, as andrew and i were going to sleep we were talking and i had this very important moment of clarity. namely about growing up, moving on, and just living life. it was like something SO obvious, but i had completely missed it. and it shocked the shit out of my system. and the more i thought about it, i realized it is such a logical thing, so why was i so shocked? probably because i didn't picture it to be this way. but it is what it is. but like i said, it was so obvious, it made me feel uneasy that it hadn't made sense before. my co-workers and i talk all the time about how hard it is for me to accept change. and it really is. like when things change it takes all of my being sometimes to not become unglued.

it may come from left field... and even be something that is uncharacteristic for me (and probably something i won't comment on after this moment)..... but....

i miss what our family used to be.

ok, now really, what is this bout of insomnia about? i've been up since 3:30am and i have no idea why. i got up to go pee, then i couldn't go back to sleep. i'm sure i don't have anything particularly insightful to say at this early hour, but i'm blogging nonetheless.

too bad TV isn't better in the middle of the night.

have you seen these shows on Bravo called "Great things about being..."? the ellipsis, of course, means they fill in the blank. it's pretty hilarious. i'm watching the "great things about being queer" right now, but i've seen it already. teehee, fag hags are number 16. yes, i love my fag. and i say that truly endearingly for my boyfriend, glenn.

hmmm, maybe i'm awake because i'm hungry? nah, who knows why, but i'm gonna give it another try now that it's 4:15am.

i love this movie. i'm sure it's for various strange reasons, but i really do love it.

i always like it when andy and i wake up at the same time. because most typically, we hang out in bed for a few minutes just giggling and making each other laugh. and when those times come along, i'm pretty positive that's what life is all about.

we've got a full day ahead of us. fidelis has a check-up at the vet, i have to go to the radisson hotel to pick up some saliva samples for work, we have lindsay's 7th birthday party to attend, then we are heading up to murrieta because andy's friend invited us over to watch the fight. beats the hell out of me what fight we are going to watch, but she's been saying she wanted to invite us over for a while. crissy, if you aren't at lindsay's party, i'll assume you are still up in murrieta for the day (weird assumption, i'm sure) and i'll give you a call and we'll stop by to see little hurley (oh, and you guys, too :)).

my day needs to begin now.

today was time warner's chili cook-off and my bomb-ass chili won. yes, i did make chili for this silliness, but it actually won. sorry, j, i didn't call you over to eat any, but i actually didn't get to eat any. i made it and it got whisked away this morning and i only got a whiff of it. we won a measly backpack and some other lamo gifts, but andy was just excited that he gets the bragging rights that his wife makes some good ass chili.

i have been home for the past 2 days with a cold. last night was the worst of it, but i'm feeling a lot better tonight. i think i got one of my co-workers sick and that makes me feel bad. i'm gonna go to work tomorrow, but i never know if it's worth it to risk getting other people sick. i'm definitely going to get a flu shot this year... the ailments i was battling every month last winter season was brutal.

having our houseguests this weekend was funny. cit and her friends were an interesting trio, and were very easy to have around. andy and i like it when people come kick it at our house because what good is having extra rooms with extra beds if people can't come chill here?

anyway, it's night-night time.

it was entirely silly of me to believe i wasn't going to get sick. but here i am. it doesn't help with this insane heat. i've even been amenable to getting into my car and driving just to enjoy some AC. it's funny, andy keeps trying to get me to install AC in our house, but i don't feel it's necessary. it's really not necessary, but times like this it's really friggin hot. but hey, we're still alive, and there's always sleeping so that you don't have to feel how hot it is.

i babysat julena yesterday. i don't get a lot of opportunity to do so since the nanny lives there. andy helped, but andy was also sleeping for a third of the time she was here. it's funny how much more she behaves when neneng isn't around. not that she misbehaves because she hates neneng, but i'm sure it's just cause she is continually testing her. and it's probably not worth the effort when neneng isn't around. anyway, i have a deeper understanding of how hard it is to get stuff done with a toddler running around. like i didn't want to make dinner or try to get anything done because i couldn't just let julena run around willy-nilly. man, kids are tough.

so i learned the other day that listening to your instincts is very important. i know this, but i pushed my thoughts aside assuming i was just being a silly goose. anyway, listen to your instincts.... and if i may shed some extra light... don't eat at restaurants that are rated "B" no matter how much you don't want to hurt someone else's feelings.