live well. laugh often. LOVE much.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
1. loved ones dying
2. people turning on me
3. incurable diseases
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THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
1. Andy
2. Meya and Fidelis
3. me
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THREE THINGS I LOVE:
1. Andy and my dogs
2. having free time
3. my family
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THREE THINGS I HATE:
1. bad drivers
2. being overwhelmed and overworked
3. saying things out of anger
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THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
1. Pass or don't pay (LOL)
2. how people can manipulative to people they love
3. the way some people behave
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THREE THINGS ON MY DESK: (at work)
1. my telephone
2. framed pictures
3. post-its
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THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
1. pretending to work
2. listening to Outkast
3. trying not to be hungry
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THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
1. travel
2. pay off my mom's house early so she can enjoy it
3. make sure that everyone i love knows how much they affected my life
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THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
1. keep a secret!
2. crochet
3. multi-task like a bandit
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THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
1. not make facial reactions even when i try
2. stop being clumsy
3. be calm
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THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
1. crazy
2. hard-ass
3. sentimental
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THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
1. your gut
2. old school new edition
3. when someone tells you they love you
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THREE THINGS I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
1. people who criticize cause they're hatin'
2. shit that people can't say to your face
3. the little voice inside your head that stops you from being brave
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THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
1. my mom's meat stuff
2. rib-eye steak
3. ice cream - forever and always
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THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:
1. how to play a musical instrument
2. how to let things roll off my back
3. how to quilt
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THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
1. coffee
2. water
3. diet coke
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THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
1. fantastic max
2. mister rogers
3. jem

i'm wearing my hair in two low bunned pigtails and my hair looks like rage's afro puffs. do you not know who rage is? too bad... that shows how young you are. today has been a weird day. busy, not painfully busy, but good enough to make the day go quickly. perfect for me.

so, i just wanted to update my subject volunteers. I will need you to give me your schedules for the first week and a half of February. I need to fit you guys into then before I actually test my very first REAL subject. I might try calling you during the day next week if I don't hear from you (J and Crissy). Remember, this is going to take all day, so plan on that. Also, Crissy, sorry, I just found out we can't do it on a Saturday and the rationale for that is: "Marlou, who (that works in our office) really wants to work on Saturday??" Not us, if we don't have to, I guess. Anyway, I wasn't supposed to test until Feb. 16th so I thought I had a full two weeks to practice, but they moved me up, so now I have less time. I hope both of you can still fit this into your schedules even though I know school just started. Well, it is finally time to leave work. I'm done here! Welcome weekend!!!!

i have been insanely busy. anyway, last night andy had this appointment with this guy for this "business opportunity in e-commerce." i decided to tag along just to see what this guy had to say even though both me and andy already knew it was a pyramid scheme. anyway, that's what it was and instead of letting him do his spiel and us leaving as quickly as possible, i decided to prolong the event by disagreeing with a bunch of things he was saying. andy even gave me a glaring look to get me to stop talking. it was pretty funny, though, i thought. he was just this 23 year old guy who is now getting out of the military in the next few months and is trying to find a direction and at the same time make him lots of money. i don't know... i guess in my old age (LOL) i've realized the world just doesn't work that way and the quick way to make your living doesn't always work. oh well...

anyway, right now i'm at work and we are on a conference call with another university that is running the same study we are... and i'm blogging. such great multi-tasking if i do say so myself.

i don't really have much to blog about. i think of things to blog about, but i don't really have a second to sit down and type it out, so it all just escapes my mind.

yeah, i said nothing in this blog. at least it's already half way through the week! yippee!

so, here's the deal. with my new job i get to do research on subjects. you know, like those reports you hear on CNN about how "a recent study in new hampshire found that.... blah blah blah"? well, that's what i'm doing. this is how they find out information like that. so, what's my point? my point is that my work would like me to start testing in about a month from now. what does that have to do with you? well, i have to find friends/family to recruit so that i can practice testing on them. testing will take an entire day (8am-5pm with an hour break for lunch) and it's nothing painful... just endless questions, a few hearing tests, a few vision tests, and blood pressure readings. you'd get to come to my work, we'd kick it for the day and we'd both learn something new about science. thing is, i'm not exactly sure how many people i'm going to test on.... so, if you are interested... leave me a message here.

oh, and did i forget to mention? HELPING ME OUT PAYS $10/HOUR!!!!!! that's not including the hour for lunch (which i just might treat you to since you're helping me out)... so, do the math..... EIGHTY FATTY DOLLARS!

good word, man. good word. so, i just finished my application for colorado state... and yes, it is before midnight! yay for me! i'm not going to send it until the 15th because it just needs to be postmarked by then and i don't have a set of transcripts i needed. if i don't get it, i'm just going to send my application and send the transcript by itself. oh well. i actually had a weird day today with trying to submit my application for the university of tayhas (texas), but i don't feel like going into it. it was just one thing after another.

oh, and i have to work this saturday. blech. oh well, i think the day will go fast since it will be my first time seeing them test subjects. and i finally get monday off! oh, the last time i got a federal (PAID - is the important word) holiday off was too long ago. and since i'm working on saturday, i'll get to have another day off in my bank of days off. my work is so laid back, the way we structure work hours depends on all these different things and if we work on weekends, we can pick a day during the week not to come in. i guess that is neato burrito to me because since i had only been working half days, i had all this time during the week to run my errands so i like doing those things during weekdays as opposed to weekends. hmm.... i think i'm rambling. my brain is becoming mush with all this stuff i have going on. new job, application, cratchety, cratchety, cratchety.

oh, here's a funny thing that crissy and i thought was humorous. one of the questions on my application for colorado state asked "Have you ever been placed on probation, suspended, or expelled from any high school or postsecondary institution for other than academic reasons?" Isn't it funny how shit like that can follow you? AND EVEN UP TO AN APPLICATION FOR GRADUATE SCHOOL...... interesting!

okay, wow. i haven't felt like this with any of my other applications. it must be the fact that i have 3 all due on the same day. why did i wait till the last minute? why? WHY? well, i know why, but uggghhhhh, i want to run out of this room screaming and ripping out my hair. to be honest, i am much better. i took a break from it for a few minutes to go outside, have a cigar (from the pimp and ho party... lucky i had it as an emergency stash), and just try to gain some perspective. much better. i thought i was gonna hurt someone. i don't know why our computer decides to move at turtle speed when i'm trying to do an application. the good thing is, i talked to my good pal, kate, today and she said she did the same thing with her applications. she said it was just too hard to try to work on them knowing you had alot of time. really, it is. my plan was to work on my applications this weekend, but then i decided instead of friday, i had all day saturday... and instead of saturday, i had all day sunday... and instead of sunday, i decided i could do them sunday night... and here i am, monday night and am flipping out because the application for university of texas is longer than dirk diggler's manliness. FUCK. then i still have 2 more to go. the benefit is that one of my applications actually states that it just has to be postmarked on the 15th. (being universities, you think they would specify neat little information like that, but noooo... it's funner to keep us guessing.) anyway, you can guess that i will be submitting that bad boy on the 14th, you can bet that. and here's the best part: i made dinner for andy, kyle and sean... and while i'm in the room hating everyone and their mother, they are out there watching "dumb and dumber-er" laughing their happy little asses off. ooooohh..... oooh, it is SO FUNNY. BITTER! i keep trying to see the light at the end of my tunnel being the spa gift certificate kyle gave me as my reward once i've submitted ALL of my applications. yes, getting accepted to graduate school is its own reward... but i'm thinking SHORT TERM here. cut me some slack, for christ's sake.

wow... this past week has been INSANE. i've never been so thrown out of whack from a new job, but it's actually really good. i think this job is carrying so much weight to me because i'm afraid that if i don't like my job, then maybe i've completely chosen the wrong friggin major and i'm going to grad school for the wrong friggin thing. but SO FAR, SO GOOD. i'm really enjoying myself and even though there are some tough times when i feel really overwhelmed, i'm almost positive i'm in the right place for me. it has it's boring moments, but i think it's just cause i haven't figured out how to spend my time and i know there is more for me to learn. i think once i get into a routine, i'll be good... but then at the same time, probably when i figure out a routine, i'm gonna have to get up and leave and immerse myself in a grad program. {{{{{sigh}}}}}

i don't really have a lot to say. i haven't had a lot of time for myself this week so i'm just waiting to relax and rest this weekend. amen that it is here, too.

oh yeah, don't touch my cookie... cause i might just have to kill you.

actually, not really. it's not as bad as that. today went well. it's just me and two men. one is probably in his late 20's/early 30's and the other one is in his early 50's. we don't really have that fun "we're girls" camaraderie, but the good news is... we're getting interns! yes! i won't be the lowest man on the totem pole and i'll get to boss people around! yippeee!!! just kidding. i'll just be glad that there will be more people to talk to. but so far, the two guys are cool. i'm going to start decorating my office tomorrow. i have to get ready for bed now. ugh, i hate having to get up early. and i hate having cramps.

i just got notified that my last recommender has put my letters in the mail and they are on their way. FINALLY! my other recommenders gave the letters to me and i'm sending them with the rest of my application materials, but this last recommender had special circumstances. anyway, i'm giving up my control freak complex, so that i can be okay with the fact that this last person sent them directly. they did me a HUGE favor, so i'm just gonna let them do it the way they want to. 3 apps down, 4 to go.

so, i start my new job tomorrow. poopy. i'm kinda excited because i think it will be fun to learn all this stuff, but i'm DEFINITELY not excited to go back to 8 hour days. oh, no sir. not excited about that at all. it takes some mental training to get into that mode. but hopefully because i have so much to learn my days will go by quickly. and i should be going to bed because i have to get up early, but eh... i have lots to do. well, blogging isn't part of the lots to do, but what i was doing on the computer earlier was, so now here i am.

so if any of you still haven't seen julena, you really should. that chickenhead is a cutie! i'm waiting for her to start doing the exciting stuff like aerobics or computer programming, but i'm not sure how far along that's gonna be. she's super fun and just watching her sleep and the faces she makes is entertaining. also, if you go see neneng, you're not supposed to make her laugh too hard because of her surgery, but try to make her laugh anyway because it's fun to watch her laugh and have to hold her belly.

so, i wasn't actually going to blog (wasn't really in the mood), but when i read chakee's sum up of new year's eve, i did a LOL. "i am mr. zerga" too bad we couldn't get toto to repeat that like sal. anyway, what a way to end the year. i got my university of colorado app in on time. whew. i did have to spend $13.65 to send it overnight though... usps suckers. and i have one due on monday and i will probably do the same thing. i could mail it tomorrow and send it priority mail, but that only guarantees 2 to 3 days. at least if i do it on saturday overnight, that's guaranteed to get there on monday. damn this whole financially pain in the fanny process. well, we spent most of the evening in the labor and delivery waiting room cleaning out every soda/snack machine in the joint. it was nuts. nobody could stop buying stuff from those machines. anyway, i'll do my rundown of the evening. welcome to 2004 everyone!!!

me calling j to tell him something and when he answered the phone he goes "did we win???!!" yeah, that's not why i was calling. clyde telling me to tell neneng to wait till midnight. the black nurse who was baby new year. ilan showing me and andy his missing tooth (HUH??!!!). me giving my mom the "stop crying" pep talk and it not working worth a damn. andy trying to talk to neneng about our refinance while she was having contractions. the little machine to tell us how bad neneng's contractions were ("oooh, you're at 65!). having a cheese rolls/chips/kfc wings/soda buffet waiting for us when we got home. my mom thinking the nurse helping her newborn grandchild was new that day. everyone and their mother asking me and andy when our child was coming (go away). making funny sounds while i was showing clyde the baby clothes, socks, and blankets. eating mexican food on our coffee table while sitting on the floor doing the countdown with dick clark (3....2....1... yippee). andy trying to give chakee excedrin migraine for her cramps. "last year's new years was fun." my mom petting julena through glass like she was a baby chimp. "is kyle really going to sleep now?" recreating oceans eleven at viejas. j's life flashing before his eyes when he heard the dogs' collars. me trying to ask neneng what she was going to do if twins came out instead.... "it's not twins!" and i guess the most memorable things about the night was "it should be soon... she'll probably have it in half an hour" was said every hour. what a crazy day/night. but welcome new baby and welcome the new year. 2004 will be good, i can feel it.