1.29.2003
breyanna michelle
i got really sad news tonight. my friend, kelley's, daughter died last night. i blogged about it when she was born. she was only 1 month and 1 week old and i feel so horrible for kelley. death just leaves such a horrible, bottomless feeling inside of you, i can't imagine anything in the world feels this bad. kelley's husband called me at my mom's house and i guess toto gave him our phone number here and since i wasn't home, neneng left me a voicemail on my cel-phone. i called when i got home and to listen to her tell me what happened was so painful. she just kinda choked back tears while she talked and i just cried with her. this is such a bad, bad feeling. they are having a service on friday and i'm hoping my work will be okay with me taking it off even though i just took last friday off. andy is saying he will go with me up to riverside, so that is comforting. i can't imagine they won't let me go to a funeral, but who even knows what is going on there from day to day. i feel bad that i never went up there to go see kelley after she had her. i don't know. i just don't feel okay. i don't like this feeling and it is too familiar and i guess i just wish this feeling didn't exist. i'm just sad. sad, sad, sad....... :(
i got really sad news tonight. my friend, kelley's, daughter died last night. i blogged about it when she was born. she was only 1 month and 1 week old and i feel so horrible for kelley. death just leaves such a horrible, bottomless feeling inside of you, i can't imagine anything in the world feels this bad. kelley's husband called me at my mom's house and i guess toto gave him our phone number here and since i wasn't home, neneng left me a voicemail on my cel-phone. i called when i got home and to listen to her tell me what happened was so painful. she just kinda choked back tears while she talked and i just cried with her. this is such a bad, bad feeling. they are having a service on friday and i'm hoping my work will be okay with me taking it off even though i just took last friday off. andy is saying he will go with me up to riverside, so that is comforting. i can't imagine they won't let me go to a funeral, but who even knows what is going on there from day to day. i feel bad that i never went up there to go see kelley after she had her. i don't know. i just don't feel okay. i don't like this feeling and it is too familiar and i guess i just wish this feeling didn't exist. i'm just sad. sad, sad, sad....... :(
