11.14.2005
you can shine no matter what you're made of
why, on god's green earth, am i still awake??!!!?? neither andy nor i are working tomorrow (today, actually) so we stayed up to watch "robots" on pay per view. it was okay, but i couldn't help but almost fall asleep as we were watching. of course, once it was done, i passed out on the couch and andy stayed up to watch more tv. finally i woke up and andy and i go upstairs to go to bed. i laid in bed as wide awake as ever. i got out of bed and watched "wimbledon" which i had recorded on our DVR many moons ago and now here i am. STILL awake as ever.
i've had a lot to think about lately. death. my job. money. how to plan my vacation time appropriately. some of those topics, of course, are particularly more important than others.
i need to find a new career path. i can't even begin to explain the terror in that statement alone. i've been stressed about it lately, but i think i've finally hit the point of it keeping me up at night (notice how it's almost 4am). and what's even worse at this current moment in time is that i need to get out of my job. so, it's not even as though i can buy time trying to figure out what to do with myself while kicking it at a job and earning a paycheck. i don't like bitching and whining about stuff like this, but i don't even think the word "lost" can even encompass how i feel. or maybe i can't think clearly because it is unjustly early in the morning.
maybe i'll get in my car and go watch the sunrise at sunset cliffs. maybe i'll go drive and get some krispy kreme because i'm sure the hot light is on. maybe i'll get lucky and come across another sighting of that friggin awesome episode of jenny jones with that woman who had a phobia of buttons. maybe i'll lay in bed and read until i (hopefully) fall asleep.
i wish andy were awake, too. there's no other alone feeling like being the only one awake at ass crack o'clock in the morning.
i've had a lot to think about lately. death. my job. money. how to plan my vacation time appropriately. some of those topics, of course, are particularly more important than others.
i need to find a new career path. i can't even begin to explain the terror in that statement alone. i've been stressed about it lately, but i think i've finally hit the point of it keeping me up at night (notice how it's almost 4am). and what's even worse at this current moment in time is that i need to get out of my job. so, it's not even as though i can buy time trying to figure out what to do with myself while kicking it at a job and earning a paycheck. i don't like bitching and whining about stuff like this, but i don't even think the word "lost" can even encompass how i feel. or maybe i can't think clearly because it is unjustly early in the morning.
maybe i'll get in my car and go watch the sunrise at sunset cliffs. maybe i'll go drive and get some krispy kreme because i'm sure the hot light is on. maybe i'll get lucky and come across another sighting of that friggin awesome episode of jenny jones with that woman who had a phobia of buttons. maybe i'll lay in bed and read until i (hopefully) fall asleep.
i wish andy were awake, too. there's no other alone feeling like being the only one awake at ass crack o'clock in the morning.
