4.29.2003
despite all my rage, i am still just a rat in a cage
man... oh... man.... i can feel all ounces of energy start to drain from me. i didn't get to sleep until 3 and i've been up since 7am... and i was fine, but now i'm at work and it is slow so i'm at a lull... and i can feel my body wanting to shut down. 3 more hours dude, 3 more hours.
so i heard that smashing pumpkins song on my way to work today and i rocked out!! woohoo!! it's so neat how songs can bring you back to a certain time in your life. like songs can make you remember how you felt when you were listening to that song, what you were going through, or even make you remember a certain time you heard that song and a memory that accompanies that time. our minds work in really awesome ways, and even though i definitely believe in selective memory, your brain does take notes of certain things and gives them back to you when it wants. i'm completely fascinated with this kind of stuff, so maybe me going into neuroscience isn't such a far-fetched idea, afterall. it would be even neater if i went to med school and i could be a neurosurgeon! right... i have no interest in being a surgeon of any kind, so that's never gonna happen... but i'm looking at a couple neuroscience grad programs. we'll see what pans out.
i had my baptism this morning. it was lo-key and we got the job done which is what i wanted. it's a good thing i talked to crissy online before i started getting dressed. i would have shown up in jeans and a t-shirt, but crissy convinced me to wear a skirt. which was good cause i might have looked crazy cause i didn't put any thought into this event at all... partly out of delirium and partly out of the fact that we all know this was a formality and we were doing it so it was on file somewhere. andy bought me and crissy lunch afterwards at mimi's. we all got breakfast, but whatever. my confirmation is on sunday and i can't wait until this is all over and done with. i'm really glad i did it now, though and didn't delay it any longer. after this is over, i can concentrate more on my GRE studying, while i'm also picking out a school. man, the shit just keeps coming, don't it? oh well... it's good to be busy... makes me feel alive and like i'm a productive citizen of this here country. yeeeehawwwwwwwww.... see, didn't i say i was tired?
man... oh... man.... i can feel all ounces of energy start to drain from me. i didn't get to sleep until 3 and i've been up since 7am... and i was fine, but now i'm at work and it is slow so i'm at a lull... and i can feel my body wanting to shut down. 3 more hours dude, 3 more hours.
so i heard that smashing pumpkins song on my way to work today and i rocked out!! woohoo!! it's so neat how songs can bring you back to a certain time in your life. like songs can make you remember how you felt when you were listening to that song, what you were going through, or even make you remember a certain time you heard that song and a memory that accompanies that time. our minds work in really awesome ways, and even though i definitely believe in selective memory, your brain does take notes of certain things and gives them back to you when it wants. i'm completely fascinated with this kind of stuff, so maybe me going into neuroscience isn't such a far-fetched idea, afterall. it would be even neater if i went to med school and i could be a neurosurgeon! right... i have no interest in being a surgeon of any kind, so that's never gonna happen... but i'm looking at a couple neuroscience grad programs. we'll see what pans out.
i had my baptism this morning. it was lo-key and we got the job done which is what i wanted. it's a good thing i talked to crissy online before i started getting dressed. i would have shown up in jeans and a t-shirt, but crissy convinced me to wear a skirt. which was good cause i might have looked crazy cause i didn't put any thought into this event at all... partly out of delirium and partly out of the fact that we all know this was a formality and we were doing it so it was on file somewhere. andy bought me and crissy lunch afterwards at mimi's. we all got breakfast, but whatever. my confirmation is on sunday and i can't wait until this is all over and done with. i'm really glad i did it now, though and didn't delay it any longer. after this is over, i can concentrate more on my GRE studying, while i'm also picking out a school. man, the shit just keeps coming, don't it? oh well... it's good to be busy... makes me feel alive and like i'm a productive citizen of this here country. yeeeehawwwwwwwww.... see, didn't i say i was tired?
