6.20.2003
adios miss kate
so, my friend, kate, left this morning to move back to the other side of the country. i'm pretty bummed about it. we had a little going away get together last night at my friend, brenda's, house. we just hung out, chatted, ate spinach dip, ordered a pizza, and took pictures of each other being dumb. well, i was thinking, and when kate was saying her goodbyes, brenda was on the verge of crying with tears in her eyes, and i didn't even have a quivering lip. not that it makes me the devil because i didn't want to cry, but i cry pretty easily in certain situations and it seemed strange to me that it didn't even spark any kind of emotional tear in me. i thought about it on my way home and i asked andy about it this afternoon (just so he could confirm that i'm not a freak) and i guess i realized my perception of goodbyes is a little warped. i mean, during my childhood i said goodbyes to many, many friends. and cried many, many tears (thanks to the military and the way they just relocate people on their whim). and maybe i just got a little used to that. also, after my dad dying, maybe the way i look at goodbye is really an eternal, forever & ever kind of goodbye. but andy had a different perspective on it, in that, i have said goodbye to many friends, but i also have had people come back into my life, so it didn't mean forever. for example, i still talk to kelley. i knew kelley for a year in the 4th grade, and we still keep in touch to this day. and jen... it took years and years to find her, but i did. and lastly, andy even mentioned himself.... we're together because we kept in touch and stayed friends. anyway, i didn't feel so bad for not crying after that. andy can often give me a different (and usually helpful) perspective on things. he's nifty to have around. me and crissy were talking about this a while ago, and definitely to my core, i believe that people are in (and out) of my life for a reason.... and it's okay if your relationship changes with that person for whatever reason because it's not as if that person has disappeared from the planet. and even though i'm sad that kate left, i'm gonna see her again in august (she's coming back for our friend's wedding) and even if i don't see her again after that (though i actually have a feeling that i probably will see her again) it will be okay. because things will always end up okay. hmmmm....now, that, is actually bringing a tear to my eye.
so, my friend, kate, left this morning to move back to the other side of the country. i'm pretty bummed about it. we had a little going away get together last night at my friend, brenda's, house. we just hung out, chatted, ate spinach dip, ordered a pizza, and took pictures of each other being dumb. well, i was thinking, and when kate was saying her goodbyes, brenda was on the verge of crying with tears in her eyes, and i didn't even have a quivering lip. not that it makes me the devil because i didn't want to cry, but i cry pretty easily in certain situations and it seemed strange to me that it didn't even spark any kind of emotional tear in me. i thought about it on my way home and i asked andy about it this afternoon (just so he could confirm that i'm not a freak) and i guess i realized my perception of goodbyes is a little warped. i mean, during my childhood i said goodbyes to many, many friends. and cried many, many tears (thanks to the military and the way they just relocate people on their whim). and maybe i just got a little used to that. also, after my dad dying, maybe the way i look at goodbye is really an eternal, forever & ever kind of goodbye. but andy had a different perspective on it, in that, i have said goodbye to many friends, but i also have had people come back into my life, so it didn't mean forever. for example, i still talk to kelley. i knew kelley for a year in the 4th grade, and we still keep in touch to this day. and jen... it took years and years to find her, but i did. and lastly, andy even mentioned himself.... we're together because we kept in touch and stayed friends. anyway, i didn't feel so bad for not crying after that. andy can often give me a different (and usually helpful) perspective on things. he's nifty to have around. me and crissy were talking about this a while ago, and definitely to my core, i believe that people are in (and out) of my life for a reason.... and it's okay if your relationship changes with that person for whatever reason because it's not as if that person has disappeared from the planet. and even though i'm sad that kate left, i'm gonna see her again in august (she's coming back for our friend's wedding) and even if i don't see her again after that (though i actually have a feeling that i probably will see her again) it will be okay. because things will always end up okay. hmmmm....now, that, is actually bringing a tear to my eye.
